Being new to the lifestyle can be scary at first. Finding your place in this kinky world can be a challenge. There is so much variety in this lifestyle and it is difficult to describe all of it in one little blog. If you are really curious about it, there are many books out there to help you. Keep in mind that besides there being so much variety, there are also many different opinions on how things should be done in the lifestyle. You do not have to accept the first explanation that you hear, if it seems like something that you might be interested in, but someone tells you something about it that makes you uncomfortable, get a second or third opinion before you decide it is not for you.
Your safety always comes first, being new does not mean that you have to go meet a stranger to satisfy your needs and never go against your instincts. Start by finding your local munch group and meet up with other local kinksters in a non-threatening vanilla setting. Talk to the people that attend those munches and get a feel for what they are like. You might be surprised by how normal those people are. People in this lifestyle come from all walks of life, young and old, parents, teachers, professionals and everything in between. I think most of the people however are more open minded than most other groups that you run into.
Once you have gotten to know some people, find out if you have a dungeon near you. Dungeons vary. I personally only have experience of one dungeon, The Woodshed. It is my opinion that The Woodshed is safer than going to a bar. It is a kinky community center and they hold classes, roundtables and events for people to learn and explore in a safe environment.
Take it slow to start with, make friends and talk to people, asking questions is a great way to learn more. If you are on FetLife, there are groups where you can ask questions as well as you can find events and people in your area.
There are two creeds that are followed in the lifestyle, those are Safe, Sane and Consentual (SSC) and Risk Aware Consentual Kink (RACK). Both advocate for your safety. Both of those creeds say it has to be Consentual. If you don't want to do it, no one should be forcing you to do it. If they say that you have to do something and you don't want to, you need to realize that is not a part of the deal. Being new means that you are exposed to risk. It means that people can take advantage of you because you don't know any better. Listen to your instincts and don't get caught up in the novelties and forget about your safety.
No comments:
Post a Comment