Sub space is the state that you may enter into while having a scene or playing with someone in the BDSM lifestyle, this is only applicable to the bottom of the scene, the top may experience something called Dom space. It is both a state of mind and a feeling that you experience. You experience sub space both physically and emotionally, it is the result of an endorphin rush that your body releases into your blood stream as well as you being able to relax and let go during the scene. Your mental attitude is very important to keep in check while having a scene because it is possible to have a bad sub space. Generally sub space is a wonderful experience, for some it is even better than having an orgasm. You free up your mind and body to let go and flow with the emotions and allow yourself to loose control. On the flip side however, you might have a bad sub space. A bad sub space might happen if someone crosses your limits or if you are scening with someone you don't quite trust or if you were in a really crappy mood prior and instead of allowing yourself to feel good, perhaps you feel guilt, remorse, or other negative feelings that are then exasperated during the scene.
Sub drop is what happens later. Generally several days after you've had a scene you will start to experience sub drop. It doesn't affect everyone the exact same way, but most people will describe it as a feeling of sadness and it will affect people to varying degrees. The best way to combat sub drop is to do something, you can call up a friend and spend some time with loved ones or you can veg out on the couch and eat some chocolates or take a nice relaxing bath. It is important not to push through the sub drop because postponing the drop will only make it more intense.
For myself, I've found that the best scenes and sub space happen with my Sir, he has gotten to know me and my body, found what I like and don't like, how to bring me to the best place possible and the experience is so amazing. I can't really put into words how wonderful I feel when we scene together, we have this chemistry that works so well and I am happy with everything that he does.
It is important to take care of yourself, allow yourself to heal after scening, nourish your body and your soul, pamper yourself a bit.
If you are going through Sub drop, I want to give you a big hug and tell you it's all going to be ok. This too shall pass.
the "pamper yourself" advice is great. I'm new too, as you know, and just a bath or some ice cream can really help even out those endorphins.
ReplyDeleteThis was a wonderful post. I believe I may have experienced this, or something like this for the first time recently. I wasn't entirely sure what was happening. I hope your post is able to help others and give them some pre-warning about this phenomenon, before they stumble across it themselves.
ReplyDeleteThank you both for your comments, I had issues with sub drop the first time experienced it and I had been told about it beforehand. From my own personal experience, it does get easier after a while and good after care helps to make sure that your drop lessens.
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